Sunday, 22 December 2019

23.12.2019

i try so fucking hard, genuinely so hard to just keep it together and get through the day.
but there's days where i just get fed up of the same behaviours, fed up of the same feeling of missing that something in my life.

i get these really high highs, but the lows. god, they just get worse every single time, genuinely every single time it gets worse and it physically hurts.
and at that moment, i'm just begging for someone to notice but they don't and on the rare occasion they do, they try to psycho-analyze me and act as if they know what i'm about but honestly, there's very few that know me that well.

sometimes all you need is to be held for a little while, while someone tells you it'll be okay. 
and no, i'm not saying i need anybody in my life but i think at this moment, i need a wee bit of reassurance to be honest.

my last post was about feeling lost, and not knowing where i really actually fit in in this little world of life, and it was actually quite funny because i never expect people in my personal life to read my posts and the morning after i posted it, i went into work and every fucker had read it.
and i realised, i don't need to fit in, i need to create a world in which liv is happy and that's not been the case for a little while lately.

just gotta keep pushing on, i guess.

liv x

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