Wednesday, 3 July 2019

aaand she's back!

do you know what?
I had so many thoughts for this post but I'm saying fuck it and we're gonna get real here..

I've had a few people complimenting me lately because I 'look so much happier' and I think being told you look happier is one of the best compliments you can get hands down. and honestly, I am happier. so so much more happier than I thought I'd ever be, i thought i'd forever be stuck in a dead end cycle, feeling more and more insecure as time went on but I personally just wanted more.

Waking up feeling just as bad as the day before isn't how I wanted to spend my teenage years, I'd go from feeling bad to worse and it was a constant cycle that just weren't going anywhere and I got sick and tired of being in my own pity party basically.
When I first started to feel like maybe finally it's time to sort my shit out, I lost someone I regarded as my bestest friend, I came to the conclusion that I felt more like Liv without toxicity in my life.

I faced my insecurities out head on and half the time my anxiety stemmed from me overthinking scenarios that didn't even exist but I'd torment myself by constantly thinking this shit is going to happen. It didn't but I still convinced myself that one day it might.

I have so many people I'm grateful for, especially my family but I have two bestfriends Ilya and Bee and quite honestly, I love em.

They just deserved a little mention but anyway..

In my last post, it's pretty positive and I even contemplated deleting this blog and just getting on with my life but mental health doesn't just go away now you're suddenly feeling brighter.
Everybody has it, it affects every single person, and writing this has been my lifeline for the longest time. I get anxious and irritable whilst being calm and chill at the same time.
I call myself the most outgoing introvert, if you knew me in person a couple years ago, you'd think I was a completely different person nowadays.

BUT, I'm happy.
I have my anxious moments but that's life. I'm finally starting to see a bloody good future and I can't wait to see where this blog takes us.

Lots of love and stay groovy,