Saturday, 22 June 2019

- new chapters in life -

we aren't even close to being half way into this year and already so much has bloody happened.
honestly, i have so much to say..

so much has happened in such a short amount of time that you'd think it'd be beyond overwhelming for me at this point but honestly, i'm so fed up of trying to rush my life and i'll admit at one point i did feel like i was just stuck a little bit and that's probably why i haven't wrote as much lately either. 

i'm always trying to write but it gets so bloody hard when i cant even begin to explain how shit has been, i went from being lonely, depressed and feeling like the entire world was against me to feeling like i have some sorta purpose, like i can be happy, i just need to chill. 

it's really really hard to move on from losing someone that was your absolute lifeline like i genuinely don't think anyone even understands that, like it broke me to the point where i believed i'd die of a broken heart, it was some excruciating pain that i'd never ever felt before in my life and that's when shit just all clicked for me. you live your life growing with somebody else and when they leave you have absolutely no clue what to do, right? 

you find who you were before you even knew they existed, you find out what makes YOU the happiest, what are your likes and dislikes.. you literally learn about who you as an individual are and i think that's one of the most important things about growing is. 
you find out who you are, and it's literally all self care. 

i've realised that i focused too much on the negative that my life was kinda just full of sadness because i didn't know how else to deal with my emotions but i'm learning to be better and do better and 

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