Thursday, 6 December 2018

.. the joy of change.

alot of people are afraid of change. 
afraid of things not being the same routine based days, day in day out..

i used to crave routine, i couldn't deal with change like at all. not one bit, it made me feel like there was a constant eruption going on in my life and i had absolutely no control over it whatsoever. 
i feared change to the point where even if there was a slight change, my mood would instantly drop and i'd be stuck in my own head for a while.

now after being stuck in the monotony, i crave change.
change is what spurs me on in the morning, it's something i welcome with open arms and embrace it so so tightly.

i crave adventure and i have this real lust for life that i used to fear.

i always say i'm gonna get more posts out and be more frequent but honestly, sometimes writing scares me. putting my thoughts, feelings and my entire heart into every single post makes me feel more vulnerable than i like to be and i get that this is what this blog is but it still makes me bloody petrified.
once upon a time, this blog was the only thing keeping me sane and for some reason the thing keeping me sane is the very thing i'm writing about right now. bloody change.

change only happens if you invite it in, if you welcome it and treat it lovingly, change happens when your life is in need of it.
whether it be a job, a relationship, anything in general. if change happens in your life, and something out of your control happens. allow nature to just take its course, it will get better and if it doesn't then it's not quite over just yet.

and i'm goddamn happy for this change, it feels genuine and good.

i wish i could pour out the contents of my brain right now but i just can't.

Speak to you all soon hopefully.

L x

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