Monday, 19 November 2018

it's the little things..

it's the little things, the simple pleasures that life has to offer that makes me happy dance inside. 
the people you can talk too for hours on end and not get bored, the people that remember the little things about you and actually listen. 

the people that make you forget just how anxious and stressed you are inside, and they just make you wanna fist pump the air because for the first time in a long ass while i don't constantly feel anxious.
i don't constantly feel like a prisoner in my own body, i feel like i could actually take on the world and that's pretty impressive considering if you knew how i was last year and even the start of this year, i was pretty much a wreck. i'm my own worst enemy at the best of times but then i had this constant war going on inside my head and for a while i thought ''shit, this is how it's always gonna be.''

i think everybody feels insecure and anxious at the best of times but having them as your constant two main feelings, it's fucking draining.
and you actually want to reach out to someone and be like ''i'm really not okay'' but the majority of the time nobody actually listens. people will say they wanna be there for you an everything but deep down i think people know that it's bullshit and they won't contact you again for the next however many years.

i always have 101 things constantly going round and round in my head so to be free of my own insecurities, worries and everything else, it's absolute bliss.
i get asked why i wear as much make up as i do and the reality of it is it's my mask.
it's what hides how i'm really feeling, it makes me feel empowered and quite frankly i feel like i can conquer anything because i'm fearless as hell but in reality i'm full of fear.

i prefer the little things, the little affectionate bouts of passion, i just like knowing someone really cares i guess.

L x


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