Thursday, 23 November 2017

- diet culture//body positivity -

Diet culture is FXCKING everywhere.
Movies, magazines, television, billboards, etc. 
It's absolutely everywhere and
if you're in recovery for any type of an eating disorder it can become extremely problematic always seeing adverts whether it be on the internet or on the television and let's be honest nobody wants to see these weight loss/diet adverts whilst you're really just trying to watch corrie.

 Trying to beat anorexia and get to an actual stable point in my life when all you're seeing and hearing about is weight loss related things, it isn't just online or on the tv that all this happens. It's extremely prominent in real life too. 
Let's face it, every single person no matter what they'll say, have insecurities. Humans have real life emotions, and having insecurities is just another human emotion. 
 When I first 'came' into recovery I'd see these adverts of these normal average sized women and I'd constantly be overthinking and second guessing myself.. over and over and over again. 
''Do I really want to put myself through this?''
A thought that to this day I still think about on my bad days.

Losing a ridiculous amount of weight won't make you suddenly SO happy with your body.
You have to be in tune with yourself mentally. I'm not saying losing weight is bad but only to a healthy level. 
You could lose so much weight and still have low self esteem, low confidence but that has nothing to do with yourself physically, it's all about learning to love yourself and your body. 

Don't always believe what the media tells you.
There idea of 'perfect' doesn't exist. 
'perfect is perception, and perception is all they can see.'

one of my absolute fav subjects to talk about..
Body positivity is accepting your flaws, simply not giving a fuck about what anybody thinks about your body, and there idea of how you should look etc. Yeah there may be days where you just wanna relapse and give up on yourself and your body. 
Absolutely don't get me wrong, there's days I wanna just say fuck it and end all of the progress I've made and just give up, but I can't give up on something that's never given up on me which is my body. Even after I made it ill and mistreated it, it still never gave up. 

Guess what everybody!!!

I don't have perfect skin, actually going off topic I constantly pick my skin when my anxiety is fucking me over and it makes my skin super red and sore but I still don't stop. I don't have a constant flat stomach (sorry but I love pizza and pizza is better than having a flat tummy lol)
I don't always take pictures at the most flattering angles either. 
But you know what??

I'm happy. 
I'm happy with my imperfect skin, my tummy roll which always makes a funny face whenever I slouch and it's kinda funny.. but most of all, I'm happy with how I am (the majority of the time, I'm only human after all)

And finally, all I really want to say is this..
Recovery is hard. Harder than the disorder itself, it isn't any walk in the park like some tv shows make it out to be, it isn't something to be glamorized. As quickly as you click your fingers that's simply how quick it can be to fall back into old patterns. What people fail to realise is though YOU'RE strong, YOU'RE powerful and most of all YOU can overcome this. 
It's gonna be tough, you're gonna want to give up but this thing you've given SO much power to is no longer going to be the eating disorder, it's going to be you.

Stay groovy, 

L x