Tuesday, 19 September 2017

- change -

if anyone knows me, they'll know i absolutely despise change.
it sucks.
recently, alot of things have changed. my bestfriend went off to uni (still mega proud of you peanut),
people have come in and out of my life, people that i'd considered good friends but people change and that's just how things go.

usually when things are about to change, i turn into a complete arse (i'm still working on myself), like i don't mean to be a complete dickhead to the people i genuinely care about but when i think people are leaving i always figure i'll hurt them before they hurt me so i don't seem weak or they won't see me vulnerable but that's just lame.
having feelings in no way make you weak, they make you human.

i'm still adjusting to recent changes and nights can be worse than days but honestly, i feel kinda hopeful for the way things are going now.
i'm now going to embrace change, i'm going to welcome it with open arms.
i'll be quite happy if things change even more soon, it's all just a learning curve and with life you can never stop learning.

having anxiety whilst dealing with change can be absolutely awful, a hundred and one things are constantly going round and round in your head.
'i wish i let them know how much i cared'
'i wish....'
you can't change things from the past, you can change how you treat people, you can allow yourself to feel some vulnerability sometimes.

L x