I drunk called someone one night and although we were both pretty drunk he helped change my mindset and I'd like to share it with you all now..
Losing people IS okay. If they were that big a part of my life then they wouldn't have just upped an left, it would have been worked out and sorted instead it was overly complicated so I actually left.
Leaving relationships of any sort if they are toxic and you aren't getting anything from them as in stability, love, friendship etc, if you aren't gaining anything from it in a positive way then please don't carry it on because I can absolutely promise you that at the end of the day you could be so in love with someone, besotted even and when you two argue you could be crying your heart out and they could just be absolutely fine.
Don't allow someone to treat you so poorly because you're afraid of them leaving, if they have no respect for you as a human being then don't spend your time waiting foe them to change because I can guarantee you they won't. As awful as it sounds, if they wanted to change and if they actually truly cared about you, they wouldn't let you spend so much of your time thinking what you've done wrong everytime they ignore you or they wouldn't let you go to sleep crying your eyes out.
If someone truly cared, it would absolutely kill them to see you in pain, to see you hurting especially over them.
My bestfriend J, he's god how can I write about this guy without it being an essay?
I've told him so many times ''I'm done'' I've expected him to just drop me and not speak to me again but the thing is, people that genuinely care won't give up on you.
No matter how many times you tell them too, they just won't.
I'm genuinely so privileged to have him in my life because honestly if I hadn't of drunk called him so many times and cried about the same thing over and over and over again, my feelings right now would be completely different.
He let me see an outsiders perspective and it turned out that the thing I thought I was waiting for wasn't even worth it anymore.
He let me realise that yeah there's so many things I wish I hadn't done and if I'd have listened instead of being so stubborn then maybe shit woulda been different and I wouldn't have spent so long crying about shit I cannot change but I'm happy, so goddamn happy and life is really really good right now.
If something causes you so much pain and heartache and the other person is completely okay with that, then please. For your own sake, drop that person and block them on all social media etc because you all deserve someone that thinks of you as the bestest thing in the world, who's world you actually are and for someone to treat another human being so poorly is an absolute disgrace.
Never ever settle for less, if someone hurts you to the point of it physically hurts and it ruins your mental health. BIN THEM. As harsh as it sounds, you always have to look after yourself as well as others, because you're important even when nobody has told you this. You're so goddamn important and you deserve the entire world.
You may not be getting the world right now but I can promise you whoever's reading this and they can relate whether it's alot or just a little bit, someone will come into your life and show you that you're the most important person on this entire planet and you deserve the world. You've not been treated well by others yet you've still got a fucking heart of gold and that just shows how much of a little sweetheart you are.
Always take the time out to know how to love yourself before you even try to love another person because how on earth can you love another if you don't love yourself? The love you show yourself is a guideline for how others should love you and I can tell you from experience that if you treat yourself poorly, others will treat you the same. Yet if you love yourself and let the whole goddamn world know you love yourself not as a narcissist but as a person should, then others will vibe to your energy and you'll realise that once you let go of the negativity you have towards yourself and others, you'll be welcomed with love and positivity from all that comes your way.
ALWAYS show yourself the love you show others, you're worth it.