Saturday, 25 February 2017

..love.

Love isn't about spending money on things, it isn't about always buying roses and going out on dates. 
Love isn't constantly going on dates and taking cute selfies. Love isn't always saying ''I love you.' 
It isn't writing all over social media how in love with one another you are, it's none of that.

Love is being there for someone when all they wanna do is breakdown and cry, it's letting that person know you understand, no matter how hard it is you make it your mission to understand your partners likes/dislikes. Knowing the little things about them like why they have a scar on their ankle from when they were little or why they can't watch dirty dancing without crying. 
It's understanding why they have abandonment issues, it's understanding why they still have little memory boxes in their room. 

Love is being able to deal with the bad times, when I say bad I mean the fights, the crying, the upset. Not everything is going to be perfect in the relationship but I don't believe in giving up on the person you love. No matter what shit you're going through, whether you think you're looking out for them or not. You never ever give up on the person you love. 
Love is never giving up. Not giving up at the first hurdle, having regrets is probably just as bad as heartbreak itself. 
Love is not being afraid. Being able to let your guard down because you 100% trust that person, that person being able to knock all your barriers and walls down until your guard no longer ever needs to be up. 

Love is being able to accept each others faults yet they make you both perfectly imperfect. Yet perfection is only perception - as we all know nothing is ever perfect, yet if you truly love that person no matter what happens it's always going to be worth it. 
Loving someone with a mental illness is hard. One day it can literally be the best thing in the world and the next day it can be full of crying, arguing, paranoid thoughts going round and round in the persons head. 

For me, when I was in a relationship with my bestfriend some days it'd be the absolute best thing yet it could take one teeny tiny thing to trigger unwanted feelings and I'd just wanna hide away in his room. There were so so many arguments we had over stupid things and I regret always causing these arguments, it wasn't what eventually broke us up but all these little arguments build up and build up. 
I always used to say 'I'm leaving you, I'm done' but I wasn't done, I wanted him to fight for me and almost every single time he did. 

Love is about appreciating the little things like just watching netflix in bed or them late night conversations about your future. Love is being with your bestfriend and appreciating the little things.
Love is happiness, pain, sadness and pure contentment all rolled into one yet the good always over weighs the bad. 

Always fight for what you want, no matter how hard it feels, no matter how much you're struggling to keep going. Fight. 

L x