Wednesday, 15 February 2017

...a letter to my EX boyfriend.

Dear my EX boyfriend, 

It's just hit 10pm and at the beginning of this week we spoke. and ever since then I've had so much I've wanted to say but I kept quiet until now. 
But I kinda need to get this off my chest so here goes..

First of all, you told me we split up on the 19th of October but that's wrong. You broke up with me on the 19th of September when I got to your house impulsively even though you said you didn't actually wanna break up with me. 

Second of all, you left me with questions. When I asked for the clothes I'd left at yours you wouldn't give them me and you kept saying it wasn't what you wanted. YOU had me begging and pleading with you to change your mind and it was like you got off on making me hurt more. I didn't like crying in front of people but I was literally so fucking devastated I poured my entire heart and soul into that relationship and you wanted to end things with me that quickly. 

On my birthday you stood me up and left me disappointed and angry. I knew then that we wasn't ever going to fix things so I texted your dad and told him how bad your drug habit got. I didn't care if you hated me for it but I absolutely hated you for everything. You lied, constantly and because I put so much trust into you, I believed you, lie after lie after lie. 
I was so reliant on you and you dropped me like it was nothing and it broke my heart. 

YOU who was supposed to be my bestfriend, the love of my life broke my heart. I was extremely fragile at that time and I literally thought I'd be so lost without you, but look..

I'm happy. I've met so many amazing people and I've put myself out of this comfort I set myself. 
I no longer let my anxiety control me anymore because I know I'm so so much better than that. You hurting me was exactly what I needed in a strange way. I needed that pain to fuel me and guide me to where I am now so I'm grateful.

I'm doing so so much better without you and that is something I never thought I'd be able to say. I lost my bestfriend but I gained a better Liv. I gained a new perspective and that is that I didn't need you. You should never be in a relationship where you literally need the other person - I'm my own person, I rely on myself.

ThankYOU for leaving me because that allowed me to genuinely find myself and right now, things are going perfectly.

Good luck with everything you do in life,

L x