Wednesday, 22 February 2017 thoughts now.

My brain is one jumbled mess right now, you know I used to be so insecure about myself that I would  constantly have these negative thoughts going round and round in my head and it drove it absolutely crazy.
Old and new people have come into my life recently and you know I'm a very different person to how I was back then don't get me wrong yet the people that once left me ALWAYS come back. Like honestly, why? I don't care what's new in your life, I don't care if you're seeing someone.

Honestly, if you've chose to get the fuck outta my life then stay out because what's the point of coming back when I'm getting my shit together, I'm feeling so much stronger than when you actually knew me and you come back into my life acting like nothings changed when everything has changed. You get so consumed by the negativeness portrayed by other people that you start to lose yourself in that.
You lose yourself trying to help somebody else and that's not cool, it can take decades building yourself up to the truly amazing person you are an it can take less than 5 shitty minutes to completely change your outlook on yourself and I hate that.

People aren't born with this huge confidence it's built up over time and when I was younger I was loud and funny and I didn't care about anything and until I got to Fakenham High School that kid that was so full of life became this empty shell of herself.
I'll be honest, it took someone breaking her heart and then her seeing someone who constantly wanted her to go out and meet the people he hung round with to give her confidence again.

I personally have to thank so many people I've met since after my birthday, there's good and bad but you all contributed to me gaining this huge confidence within myself which I hadn't had in YEARS so I appreciate that.
With this new confidence comes a new attitude, and I've become stronger and more passionate about helping others like me.

L x

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