Friday, 5 August 2016

iLL NEVER BE WHAT YOUR DEFiNiTiON OF ''NORMAL'' iS.

Number one rule - Know that normal doesn't exist. Everybody has different ideas of what normal is so if you don't fit in to one persons definition then fuck it - who cares, you do YOU boo.

I've never really fit in, I have bright red hair and I'm a big loser that laughs at my own jokes but that's cool because I make myself happy. But I'm happy with me and it took months, years even for me to get at this point right now and it's scary because I know for a fact it could all change within the snap of a finger.

I used to change myself for other people and that's probably my biggest regret because I changed my personality, the way I dressed, everything to suit other people even if I wasn't happy.
I feel like that never made me happy and even when I found that I was super happy, I didn't want to be because I sacrificed myself in the process and that was way more damaging than anything else.

It'd be so easy for me to seclude myself again but I don't even want that, I just want to stop spending all my time with fake people. Fake people are in the lowest group of the food chain, because seriously who even needs that in their life?
Liars and people who wait til you have a bad day to tell you your flaws on things are fucking shitty people too.

Show love and compassion to those who need it the most because you never ever know what is going through their head right now.

Just don't be a heartless dickhead.

Love you!
x



DO i REALLY DESERVE THiS?

People change, I get that. But what I'll never understand is how a person can go from being the most attentive person, a person you plan to spend your life with, have babies an all that jazz to someone that's quite callous and completely a different character.

I'll never understand truly how someone who went from being the best thing in your life to someone that you just don't understand. I know I'm difficult and I know I always have more bad days than good but I've always been like that, I just hid it better.
I don't associate myself with people because I feel like they'll never understand, they won't understand why I do what I do and the whole reasoning behind it. I've always built this little shelter around me so I didn't give a fuck about anything and I realise that's not healthy and having emotions are completely normal. But I don't want to let somebody affect me that much.

I'm not even talking about in a relationship either, I just want to be able to know that another human being understands how I'm feeling. I've felt so alone for a while, I've got amazing people around me, I just can't change how I'm feeling.Whilst everybody around me is happy and content with life, I'm feeling lost and alone.
But nobody understands..

There's gonna be a few other posts tonight so that's why I've kept this one short.

Enjoy.