Friday, 24 June 2016

#NEW CHAPTER ~ 40.

Since writing my last post I realised that if you don't like something about your body you can easily change it, so I think I'm going to start working out alot more, mostly ab work outs and cardio but whilst I'm feeling better like that.. I'm still in search of the PERFECT dress, it doesn't matter what the occasion is but it's kinda important to me.

I'M TOTALLY FREAKING OUT.
I THINK I'M GOING TO CANCEL.
FUCK. FUCK. FUCK. FUCK.

It's been like 4 hours since I put this and it's a definite, I'M NOT GOING!!!!

If you ever want to know what anxiety feels like, it's definitely this.

Ox.



#NEW CHAPTER ~ 39.

23/06/2016
I got my hair done today and cut and everything, I thought it'd be nice since I've felt like shit these past few days, but obviously the good feeling doesn't last forever.. meh..

Do you ever get them days where absolutely nothing looks right n your body or you just feel like your body and how you look is equivalent to something mega fucking gross? That's today's feelings and its fucking shit.
My belly looks so bloated too which is just great cos that's gonna make me feel so much better, like I genuinely feel like I should go on some diet or something.

It's now the day after I wrote that and I still feel the same but I don't want to begin to write a post which is all about me hating myself because that's not what I'm about.
I want to feel good about myself and of my accomplishments but I really don't feel that great, I feel like I look gross, I feel gross, I don't even feel confident enough to wear dresses and anyone that really knows me knows that I LOVE wearing dresses!!!!

I don't even feel like writing anymore...

Ox.