Monday, 6 June 2016

#NEW CHAPTER ~ 29.

ThankYOU to every single person that's read this blog, I can't actually put into words how grateful I am. I hope you're all good..

This kinda relates to the last post I did so if you haven't read it, it's ~ 28!

Every single person that gets bullied or has a mental disorder, they suddenly become a statistic people can add to the figures. Noone should be thought of as just another statistic, I got bullied relentlessly and I suffered because of it so in no way am I just going to sit back and let that happen to other people.
Peoples lives are worth SO much more than just a number, no one in this world should be thought of as just another number.. I'm a human being with thoughts and feelings and after so many years I've got a voice too. No way am I just going to sit quietly whilst another person becomes ill or gets bullied, WE have to stand up for what's right and we have to be the voices to people that have lost there's right now.

I was made to feel weak, and there's something I've noticed actually, that week in London proved it too.. the bullying, the eating disorder, the counselling, EVERYTHING.. it only made me stronger, it only made me want to stand up against it all.

I am SO much more than the eating disorder. There were so many times I nearly let you win, I nearly let you become the person who I am, I nearly let you win. I was so willing to just give up, but time after time after time I fought because I'm better than this.
And I want you all to know no matter how hard it is now, it only gets better and better. Of course it's not always going to be perfect but you gotta have a little rain to get a little sunshine.

If you wanna talk ~ livnizzzle@gmail.com

Thanks for reading,
Ox

#NEW CHAPTER ~ 28.

How're you all feeling? I'm feeling a mixture of emotions really, I'm not exactly quite sure how to put it into words but I'm sure as fuck gonna try. So enjoy and as always please do keep sharing.

I miss my bestfriend, he's always been so much more than that, he's my confidant, he's helped me all throughout this blog.. he did a post about his opinions on this {if you'd like to check it out, it's called Other Perspectives}, I value his opinion so so much especially to do with this because I prefer to not really tell people my ideas and goals for this blog.
It's always been scary writing on the internet about how you're feeling and how badly you've been bullied, it's scary to put yourself out there like that because this is your life and everyone's of course going to have an opinion on it.

I never thought over 2000 people would be interested in this at all, I started writing because I had been feeling lost. Like I didn't know who or what I stood for anymore, mental illness has always been something I've had a strong opinion on and really it's what I've wanted to write about because there isn't really much awareness.
 Mental illness is a subject with many different categories -
  • Eating disorders - Body Dysmorphic Disorder - Anorexia - Bulimia 
  •  Anxiety disorders
  • Dementias 
  •  Schizophrenia/Psychotic disorders
  • Mood disorders
There's over 200 classified forms of mental illness but they are just the five major categories, before I'd got bullied or developed an eating disorder I'd never even knew the facts or figures about mental illness and now, well now I'm on a mission.

I'm on this mission because when I was in school noone stood up for anything, I had no voice. But now, now's different. I've learnt so much about myself after overcoming these struggles, it's scary as hell because you never know where you're actually going to end up. It's back to that fear of the unknown..

I want to be able to be someone's voice, I struggled every single day because I couldn't talk about it, I couldn't talk about my feelings because I'd just break down and eventually I'd be so trapped inside my own thoughts and feelings it'd scare me. I don't want anybody feeling like that, trapped inside your own body? It's possibly the worst thing you could go through, writing has always been my escape and I hope somehow me writing how I've dealt with things and what I went through has helped somebody at least.

I'm going to help as many people that need it. Because YOU deserve it, YOU deserve the world and all it has to offer.

Ox