Thursday, 12 May 2016

#OTHER PERSPECTIVES.

This post is going to be slightly different to the rest of them, because this isn't from my point of my view, and as you can tell it's from other people's perspective. This first one is from my bestest friend.

I've wanted to post a post on her blog for you all to see for a while. I want everyone who is like me and lucky enough to not suffer with anything mentally, to appreciate it. Appreciate the fact that things you consider little things like getting the bus, or throwing an apple core in the bin, are possibly some of the most daunting things some people can do, and thye are forced to overcome thinfs every single day. They suffer in their own house. Imagine that? Not even feeling at ease in your own home, normally everyone has a place where they can feel at ease, almost like a personal temple. Could you imagine always being on edge? Can you imagine having nightmares that you can't wake up from? On a bad day, that's what mental disorders can be like, I assume so anyways, because I have no right to say. And people who haven't even suffered with it don't have a right to say shit like 'calm down' or 'it's gonna be okay' or the worst one 'you're being silly' you dumb muthafuckers, don't you think for one measly second that that's how they're choosing to be? They want to be able to do things that 'normal' people can do. They want to be able to do things without constantly thinking that they're doing it wrong or everyone is watching them do something.

Never ridicule someone for doing something differently to the way you do it. Because perhaps its taken them every bit of gut they had to do it. That's possibly a personal achievement for them and you say you did it wrong? How dare anyone ever put down someone else's personal achievements because that's what they are. Personal. Not yours, not mine. That persons. You do not know the things they are capable of, and because of ridiculers, they may never reach their full potential. Take my girlfriend for example. She considered writing this blog, for months before she wrote her first post. And some of the people who found out. They laughed at her. That's not cool. It took her months to build up the courage to do this, and what in the space of 6-7 months she's amassed over 1200 views. Considering it hasn't got that much publicity yet, that's a hell of a good achievement which nearly never happened because people laughed at it. If it wasn't for me supporting her through it, this may never come as far as it has.

This next paragraph, this is for those who are in a relationship with someone who suffers with any illness. Be grateful. Don't take them for granted. Every day they're with you, is a battle. And I'm not trying to say either of you are bad people because I'm not. But I have been and I've fucked up multple times. But I have been extremely lucky to to have another chance with my girl. But you other people may not be. So, I advise you all, to take your girls or guys hands, look them in the eye and tell them you love them. Because when I do that to my girl, she gets this big ass grin on her face and her cute little eyes brighten so much, and even if she's having the worst feeling in the world, she can always be cuddled so hard she pops. That might not work for everyone, so I task you all with this. Find out exactly what you can do to make your girlfriend or boyfriend feel the best they can, even if you don't suffer with anything. Do it because I said so. And tke it from a man that's nearly lost his. Oh and also, if you do read this princess, I'm sorry and I love you, to the moon and back a million billion trillion times assface

And to all the readers of this blog and post. You support my girl as much as I do, so I love you all for that. Support everyone as much as you support us, and the world will be a better place.

Peace out,
RJx

#NEW CHAPTER ~ 13.

Trapped.
Alone.

I used to be so so trapped in my own thoughts, my fears, my insecurities.. everything. I get so caught up in my own scary bullshit that I make myself so alone, I make it so no one can speak. I'll push people away, I do it all the time.
I'm practically my own worst enemy, I tell myself I'm not good enough so many times and then I start to feel paranoid and overall I get fucking insecure. I leave people because it's easier than letting them in, alot easier actually.
When I was in school, well when I did go anyway.. there was this place called the 3D centre and it was kinda my home away from home because I'd keep myself in the office and half the time I'd see noone but the people in there for the few hours I was in and I could easily just slip in an out of there. That's my problem.
I always just want to not be noticed, I kept myself isolated for so freaking long and I eventually got bored of my own company, I'd speak to people that were fucking dickheads, no gooders really.

I'd go meet people in my year that I didn't even like just so I could get out of my house, when you get so used to your own surroundings it feels like the walls are closing in on you and I just wanted to feel free for a few hours.. They'd treat me like shit and I laughed it off because I made myself feel like that so why isn't it okay for someone else to do that?
I made myself feel so bad and horrible about myself that even when the bullying stopped and I finished school I'd STILL not want to eat, you could say I was frightened, fucking petrified of becoming 'the old me'. I'd have nightmares of it all happening again, I dropped out of college because I was way too in my own head, and I'd isolated myself so much that I didn't even want to approach people, as you guys can probably tell I'm much better just writing on a computer screen waaaaaaaaaaay away from actual humans.

I remember how I was way before I even got ill and bullied, I was literally my biggest fan.. I didn't care what people said about me, and I had such a trusting soul it got me into trouble sometimes but it was just my nature and I desperately wish I could feel that way about me again.
I was happy.

All right guys, that's it for this post. I hope you enjoyed and don't forget to share!!

If you think you're weird or different, just remember weird and different is the best kind of human you can be. Unique is amazing so I guess that means you're all pretty damn amazing, have a good day, night, wherever you may be.

Ox.