Saturday, 17 December 2016

pain changes people.

Pain has a way of changing people tremendously, you could be the chillest person until ONE thing  fucks you over or you get heartbroken and you literally change as a person.

The way my last relationship ended it had absolutely broken me, I was so hurt and so angry over losing my bestfriend for such a shit reason I took my pain out on other people. I know that's such a shitty thing to do but the saying hurt people, hurt people made sense then. I was constantly thinking maybe I coulda changed how I acted towards him, maybe I coulda been better but honestly none of what he did was my fault. I've realised that now too, you give someone your absolutely EVERYTHING and they can just drop you like it means nothing, peoples actions can be pretty fucked up.

However, after blocking him on everything and deleting all the pictures and everything else of us.. it became easier. I do miss my bestfriend don't get me wrong but things happen for a reason and I'm glad it happened then rather than after we got more serious. But anyway, it took me so long to finally actually realise that I don't need to rely on him or anybody else to be my main form of happiness because I can make myself happy.

People take themselves for granted far too much, and it's such a shame because there's nobody in this world that can love you as a person and more but yourself and if you don't show yourself the same amount of love you show other people, other people will show you the same amount of love that you show for yourself and you'll be treated badly because of it.
How you present yourself to the world allows others to know how they should treat you, and I know it's a really shitty thing to do but it's true.

Now, I'm happy and I'm more focused on keeping my head straight like I no longer want to get wrapped up into someone else's bullshit.. I no longer want to be surrounded by negative sources because honestly I'm really better than that, so is everybody else really. You can't strive for a positive lifestyle when you're always constantly consumed by so much negativity.

I'm going to be honest now, when my relationship ended I decided "fuck it." And I literally wanted to change, I wanted to become a better version of myself however the person I was in a relationship with went and did a complete 360* and although it really fucking sucks to see someone you adored put themselves through hell and back because they'd rather get fucked up than face their feelings but I had to let go and I'm currently leaving that behind.
That relationship was with my bestest friend in the whole entire world, we had some really amazing memories which of course I'm not going to forget but I've changed, so has he and he's absolutely nothing like the man I fell in love with and I've dealt with that.

Everybody who reads this blog has their own little story and I want to inspire and encourage people to want more. More for yourselves, more in life, NEVER settle for less than you deserve because you're only stopping yourself from your own happiness basically.

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