Wednesday, 14 September 2016

Today's a bad day.

I woke up already feeling like shit from yesterday - I'd spent the whole day puking my guts up and I barely got any sleep so I felt even worse.

It's not even turned 9am yet and I'm already wishing for the day to be over. There's one feeling I hate the most and that's feeling like a burden to people. What I've noticed having anxiety is that you become more dependent on other people, and not everybody is going to have your likes and dislikes and I realise that, it's fine but I have to get myself out of the mindset that people are going to be as good to you as you are to them,

Having anxiety in itself is a burden because over a long time period you become reliant on other people, but one thing I personally need is consistency and Ill never ever be able to get used to something without it being a constant thing and it bothers me so goddamn much.
I wish I didn't even have this because it's ALWAYS fucking with me, I wish it didn't make me feel more sensitive and I wish it didn't make being in a relationship such a fucking hard thing to do.

If I didn't have anxiety I'd be a completely different person and it would definitely stop arguments being made. There's so many things I wish I could change, and this is one of them. I don't always have good days and I don't always have bad days but I never know what to expect when I wake up and it fucking sucks.

I wish so many things were different.

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