It's like that one friend that always puts you down, tells you you aren't good enough and basically makes you question yourself 24/7. It's something I deal with every day, some days I can battle through it all and others I'll just want to stay in my bed and never come out again - it's unpredictable as fuck.
I find it hard to trust people, especially people that have let me down before - and this is where everything comes into place... Today I went out for a couple hours with someone kinda special, I felt nervous and anxious as fuck but I kinda just wanted to be out of my room and I did actually wanna go out so I did it and you wanna know the best part? I hadn't smiled or laughed like that in months and it felt fucking wonderful. I find that some days like today I'm in control of my emotions like there's no bullshit, I don't feel like having a panic attack or being sick. I just felt good.
This is what I'm trying to get at, you ALWAYS have to push yourself and push those limitations you've set for yourself because the only way you'll pass expectations is if you beat them. If you didn't ever have bad days then you'd never be able to grow and learn from the bad. Nothing is perfect and life will ALWAYS goddamn test you, you have to always win because the day you say no and give up - you already lose.
Always fight for the right to be yourself, never let your mind tell you shit that isn't true.
Be passionate and always love - love always wins.