I don't even know if this post has a purpose or if I'll even keep it up but I just have to vent and let my thoughts out otherwise I know I'll cry or text someone I shouldn't..
Honestly, my emotions are so goddamn conflicted right now. This week I've gone out alot, I've smiled so goddamn much yet I miss my bestfriend. Forget the fact we were in a relationship but that wasn't how it all started, we were friends and then best friends for so long before we'd even gave this a try. I remember drunk calling him and ranting that some guy's broken my heart but that's another story. He was my bestfriend when everybody else fucked off, this stranger took the time to stay up til 5am nearly everyday to just talk to me about random shit that barely made sense, but that's why our conversations worked so well.
On Monday I hadn't smiled that much in so fucking long, just the way somebody treated me and acted towards me was honestly the best feeling. I hadn't felt like that in such a long time. I'd started to question my own worth and that I'm not good enough, so for someone to treat me that well like I honestly could get used to it..
And now, I'm ready to say goodbye..
Thankyou Rhys, for being my bestest friend and the person I wanted to give my heart too. I'm sorry it didn't work out but I hope one day someone makes you feel the way I felt on Monday because it's a fucking great feeling. I hope everything works out for you in the end and I wish you all the happiness in the world. I love you always.
ALWAYS be dignified.
I started writing this post honestly about to cry and now I feel like this massive weight has been lifted off my chest and after this post there won't be any more relationship type posts..