Wednesday, 21 September 2016

heartbreak.

I'm gonna be real with you guys, I know I've wrote so many goddamn posts about me and my boyfriend we've either argued or it's an anniversary or we even went somewhere cool, this post isn't going to be like any of them.

On the 19th of September he'd decided he didn't want me anymore and although I don't agree with his decision, I respect it, 

I spent days and nights crying in my bed, wondering where the fuck it went wrong and how I could have changed things. I begged and pleaded for him to change his mind and he had his mind set. It's heartbreaking because I don't know where I went wrong, or how I could have prevented this and I realised I couldn't have known any of that because he played his part so goddamn well. We spent nights planning our future and talking about him moving in, we'd gone away for a few days and I'd met alot more of his family. He held my hair back whilst I was being sick, he'd kissed me right after I was sick too and I knew he loved me, 

He played his part so well because after being with him for so long now he decides he isn't and wasn't happy being with me, blah blah blah. I feel so fucking sorry for you and I say you because I know he's going to read this like he always does - I feel so sorry for him because I know for a fact he isn't going to find someone who fought so hard to be with him, who loves him that much it's physically hurting not being with him and I know he's NEVER going to find someone that could make him as happy as I know I did. 

We weren't ever perfect because perfect doesn't exist, but we were happy and we definitely loved eachother, I know that for a fact. 

I'm sad, angry and hurt by all of this. Please don't expect another post for a while. 

Thankyou all for reading this, 

Liv. 

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