Thursday, 11 August 2016

NEW BEGiNNiNGS .

New beginnings is a symbol of change, of people moving on and for things to start to be different in life.

Life has taught me that not everybody is going to like you and like arseholes everybody is going to have an opinion on what you do whether it involves them or not. The thing you have to know for a sure fact is that not everybody is going to be as good to you as you are to them, people just don't seem to like it when they've got a realist backing them up and life's weird in that sense that people would prefer to be around fake ass people rather than honest, loyal people.

I've met so many people throughout this journey, some good and some definitely bad, it'll test you as a person to how you react towards this negativity. I personally, can sometimes react badly because there's no inbetween for me, I either love you wholeheartedly or I hate you more than I hate the dark.
I've tried to stop myself from reacting badly in certain situations because I always say stuff I regret and then I can't ever take it back, and I'm not a bad person but I have my limits so if I see or if I've just had enough I'll snap because a human being can only take so much before he / she snaps.

During writing this blog I've felt myself feel angry, sad, disappointed, happy and content.. a whole range of emotions, I'll be honest I've felt disappointed and sad alot because it gets frustrating I don't write this blog for pity or sympathy I want people to understand, and there's been so many things happening during these 8 months. There's been happy times like London and then there's been really shitty times like the Predator situation or just arguing all the fucking time. I've met some truly wonderful people too whilst I've been writing like Rhys' family and aunts an all that jazz.

I've conquered many things I never thought I'd be able to do I had a job actually working with people I mean it was only for a month or two but until that went to shit I had a reason to get outta bed on occasion. I've had so many college interviews which when I was there I had continuous panic attacks and on one day I'd actually broken down and cried in front of people but I didn't give a fuck. I just didn't want to be there anymore. There's been times where I've felt so alone I'd rather not exist not die just not exist ever. I find myself struggling more and more often, it's usually the little things that bother me more now like a simple stupid comment or something like that.

The new chapter I'll be writing about now is purely about new beginnings, conquering new challenges, meeting new people and I hope you all continue to be on this journey with me. ThankYOU all for reading.

O x




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