Saturday, 11 June 2016

#NEW CHAPTER ~ 32.


Dear my readers {new and old},

When I first shared my story through bullying, mental health issues and all that other crazyness, I didn't realise people would appreciate it.
In one of my last posts I wrote how I was thinking of writing a blog for months before I eventually did do it, I was scared really. Scared that noone would understand or get it.

I write because whilst I've got all these crazy thoughts stopping me from speaking, what's really on my mind comes out whilst I type, I don't re read what I've put because I feel it's a bit more raw.
One thing I never expected whilst writing this is well I want everyone who reads this to know they aren't alone. Being on a journey with mental illness can sometimes feel like it's just a one way and you don't think you'll make it out alive but boo, YOU can.

I write about the negatives and positives of my life to show YOU that anxiety isn't a walk in the park, it isn't sunshine and rainbows, its tough. It's hard and so so fucking challenging, it's basically a war in your head with you.. crazy right?
I won my battle, it's still ongoing but you know what felt so fucking great? Everytime I'd go to the doctors and they'd tell me I put weight on I'd be ecstatic!! I'd literally be so happy and I knew I was winning. I always tell you guys that I wish I was how I was before I got bullied but getting bullied, having an eating disorder and STILL living with anxiety makes me stronger, every day.

To just know that I could have the chance anytime to end all of this and I haven't just shows that I'm strong too, I'm not saying it makes you a weak person if you do decide to end it all because that makes you a fucking courageous person. It takes courage and strength to do that because it's such a hard decision to finally commit too.

I want YOU all to know wherever you may be that no matter what time of the day it is, no matter how late or early it is, I'm only a message away if you'd like to talk. I suffered in silence for a very long time and it's hard because the only person that can wipe away your tears an tell you everything will be alright is yourself, and what I've learnt these past few months is no matter how strong you are, you always need someone to fall back on. Whether it's a friend, a partner or your family, YOU all need to talk to someone because eventually it will eat you up and that'll just hurt you more.

I'm writing to you because I made it my mission to help people, I always write posts thinking 'are they going to like it?' 'will anybody understand?' and you know what? I'm nearly at 3000 views. 3000 people that have read this and shared to support my mission.
Now finally, let's take away the fucking stigma of mental illness for good, I love you guys!!

As always message me if you'd like too - livnizzzle@gmail.com

Ox. 

No comments:

Post a Comment