Tuesday, 22 March 2016

#33.

Hey guys and girls and everything in between, sorry for the delay with posting I've been ridiculously off it but I'm back, so enjoy..  
This is a time of reflection..

Having an eating disorder is like you wanting to do one thing but your body LITERALLY fucks you up and says 'no bitch, you aren't having this' it's you wanting to tell someone close to you but you being scared. I had and sometimes still do an eating disorder, anorexia to be clear. I got bullied really badly round about the same time I stopped eating and I knew then that I HAD to be in control of something.. I couldn't stop them from bullying me but what I could do is give them one less reason to bully me, I stopped eating. It was scary, but the thing is it felt good being able to control something..
No one understands it, I needed to feel like I was in charge or something whilst all this bullshit was going on, I controlled something.

I'm not going to lie to you all and say I'm cured of it because I'm not. I hate looking like I've put weight on, that's probably my biggest insecurity.

I hope this helps, people who have or know people with eating disorders or issues with eating because honestly you'll never get them to eat by saying 'just do it for me please' that will never ever work.

Ox.

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