I can't begin to even try to explain how I'm feeling right now but it sucks.
''I sit here in tears wondering how long I can carry this load of loneliness on my shoulders; The weight of misunderstanding is breaking my back and I can no longer take the strain...Silence grips my throat as I choke on thoughts that could scare any man into a nightmare and there, have him begging for death's sweet release. These words have been my lifeline but the storms are becoming too strong to be calmed by sentences and I fear the waves will drown me once again. I can only hope my dreams will keep me afloat until I learn to swim against the tide.'' - Chishala Lishomwa.
You can be surrounded with a bunch of people and still feel so fucking lonely, think of loneliness like being dehydrated, if you're happy and you feel like you've got a great bunch of people around you then you're hydrated but if you feel so fucking lonely and that no one understands the shit you're going through, you're majorly dehydrated.
It's funny though, people always make sure you're okay and everything but they only want the short answer being ''yeah I'm fine'' when really you want to be like ''no, I'm fucking dying here in a pool of my own self worth, I hate who I am and I just want people to try and understand me instead of making judgement so no, I'm not fine. Not one bit''
I know I'm always trying to be positive and help people but it's just a really shitty time right now so I hope you can all understand..