This blog isn't here to show you all that recovery is easy or quick because it isn't. Its to show you that no matter how hard it gets just know that you aren't alone. I'm still struggling with my anxiety and sometimes I struggle with my eating too but I'm telling YOU all of this because this is life. Life is full of daily struggles we all need to overcome and if I can help anyone just writing this then I'll be happy.
Happy to help someone that's felt this alone too. But anyway back too it..
Have you ever felt so alone when you're in a room full of people or at a party? To be fair, I've never been one of them people to enjoy parties an what not but the one I did go too was just ugh haha. That kinda helped me realise that I've shut the world out for so long that when I do get introduced to other people I shut off, I already make my mind up about people. I always told family members I'm a 'lone ranger' but the thing is I don't want to be alone but I can't think of anything better than chilling watching Netflix, with pizza and my guy. Literally that's my idea of a perfect night.
I don't think I've mentioned this in any of my posts but I have nightmares, pretty bad ones but I never really tell people about it because they get so vivid and scary that it actually seems so freaking real. After I got bullied and lost way too much weight I had to go to a counsellor type thing but there were a few times that they had group sessions and seeing other people in the exact same position it got me real scared. I think I was kinda oblivious to how I really looked to be honest, but I guess so were a few other people.. I always wore trackies so no one could see how bad I really was. I feel so vulnerable telling people how I feel and even writing this but trust me boo once you actually write down in like a journal or a blog or anything you feel SO much better!!!
No matter how bad you feel or think you look after all this bullshit is over and you realise or discover that YOU (aka the person reading this) have so much going for you, you're more than your anxiety, you're more than your depression, you're more than your mental health problems. Remember you can't get no sunshine without a little rain.